I’m Such A Scale Whore

Next week our company is having their annual golf tourney. They play 9 holes in the evening and do the best ball thing. They also cart their golf bags behind them unlike my previous employer who let us drive the golf carts. I say this because it was my favourite part of the day, lol.

Today there was a fundraiser for an employee of our company who has been diagnosed with breast cancer. It was a huge lunch offering at $10 a plate and then the treats were individually priced. Oh my goodness the food offered was amazing. I had a BBQ rib, various salads, swedish meatballs, perogies, lasagna, etc, etc. The goodies I bought included cheesecake of course :)

One more day until my three day long weekend. Thank goodness as I am just not feelin’ it this week and each night cannot wait to go home and veg. Like what I am doing now.

Now please excuse me as I go wrestle the squeak toy from Bruisers mouth…he will just sit there and squeak, squeak, squeak it until i want to kill him AND the toy, lol.

Silence…no talk about weight loss, weight gain, or anything ‘ho’ worthy. That must tell you I’ve gotten to a point where I don’t care and of course the weight is piling on. I am scared to get on the scale but my clothes and my image in the mirror tell me things are not well.

The plan? I am going to join Weight Watchers online on the weekend with Monday weigh-ins. Hopefully this will keep my weekends ‘good’ in food choices since Monday will show the story. As well I will be going to the gym 5 days a week, Monday to Friday during my lunch hours. With my hair cut, blow drying my hair only takes 10min, the straightener 5min and makeup 5-10min. So an 90min lunch will suffice and I will work until 530 or come in at 8am to make up the extra 30min.

Everything seems to be going so well in my life but the weight and I have to get that under control before my size 12’s become 14’s.

On Friday I am off work and I am signing my commitment letter for my mortgage (2010), I am very excited. Excited that in the last few years I have managed to stay away from debt consolidation loans, and managed to almost quadruple the amount of a mortgage I can have. I must be doing something right, even if I still sometimes spend money not so wisely but I can say, as of Thursday I will have $1,500 in my savings account :) I don’t think I’ve ever had a savings account before, lol. I guess I really want this condo.

So…Monday - I WILL get HO back on track, I WILL document my weight gain and I WILL go back to the gym. Promise.

I took this video this morning as a lot of people have been asking for more Bruiser pics/videos. This is my routine every morning that I go to work and sometimes if I am going out on the weekend. Treats used to work to get him out of the bedroom, but no longer.

Yay! YouTube allowed my video size :) So I present, George’s opening. I also have a few more larger one’s to upload as well.

Wow! What an amazing concert. It was just him on stage though every once in a while his backup singers would join him or a few instrument players - but generally - just him.

I have uploaded all the pics and most of the videos on to Flickr and you can find them here, if you’re interested in. The one’s I could not upload because of size restrictions I will see if YouTube will take - I believe one is the opening as well.

The concert was suppose to start at 8pm prompt (so said the ticket) but he didn’t get on until 845pm but I believe that was done because there were two major highway accidents and getting into Toronto was hell…even getting out this morning (after midnight) was as well.

So glad I spent the $200 - he was WELL worth it.

I am going to Walmart today at lunch to grab another SD card for my camera so I can take lot’s of photos and video :) George Michael was my one and only crush from my teen years and was also my first concert ever.

SO EXCITED!

As posted at In A Mood yesterday, I decided on a spur of a moment that my hair need to be chopped off. And because I work right beside one of the largest malls in Mississauga, I went to their website and looked up their hair salons and made a 330pm appointment.

This is before:

And this is me now:

The after faces look goofy, whereas the before face looks more natural. But I like the cut :) No more throwing it back in a ponytail for me! Not bad for an almost 40 year old! (NOT a typo folks!)

THis is currently what Ho says in a word cloud - click to see the full size. Get yours at Wordle :)

On June 16th I stole a link from Taylore about the $1 cosmetics available at Eyes Lips Face and posted about it too. Then I got a few comments from people about it being a scam and such and so quickly removed it…but by then I had already ordered from them.

I had been checking on my order for the first couple of weeks after that and then forgot about it - thought their system had screwed up and they lost my order. Not so - I received it yesterday - though 30 days after my order I was still pleasantly surprised.
For a buck a piece I think they’re great. I am using one of the lip glosses today, used one of the conditioning balms last night and loved them both. I am also using some of their eye shadow today and it still has not creased. The eyeshadow brush is good quality - just as good as a Red Earth one I bought a while back.

Would I buy from them again? Yes, I want another of their eye shadow brushes, an eyeliner brush and to stock up on some of the shadows I bought because I love the colours and they’re timeless. For a dollar a piece - everything was all worth it.

Jeff called yesterday afternoon but I didn’t pick up the phone. The phone was in it’s cradle and I had two sleeping dogs on me (yes, I am seriously being smothered) and so didn’t want to wake them as I was enjoying the silence.

I could have called him back but decided against it - I knew I would back out of the distance I am trying to put between us and so decided to wait a bit and then email him on facebook instead. He sounded sad on the phone but that could have been him just getting up. Normally I would have been heading over there so we could do dinner :( I will say that knowing that he called made me sad - my mood changed right then and there to feeling lonely whereas prior to the call I was okay all weekend.

Tonight I take Goldie back!! I will then come home and take Bruiser for a walk and then back home to clean and then give Bruiser lots of loving to let him know he is my one and only. Tomorrow - gym! Bag is in the car :)

I had my 3 month post op this morning for my Lasik/PRK - I’m 20/20 - my left eye is amazing (it was a -11.XX prescription) and my right eye is not where I want it to be, but the Doc seems okay (it was -4.XX) as I’m seeing 20/20 with both. When I renew my license this fall I will have the X removed (must where glasses) - yay!

Anyways, to work I go - catch you later!

Although I’ve been approved for my mortgage, it was approved for a 40 year amortization period which is new here, or was. Unfortunately the Canadian government who governs our mortgage lenders has decided that these 40 year mortgages will be no longer as of October 15th (as well as zero down) and the longest amortization period will be 35 years. I chose the 40 years because I wanted a break for my first five years of payments and then I was going to switch to 25 or 30.

I called my broker when the news broke but he’s not gotten back to me yet. My question is although I was approved, my mortgage does not start until I take possession (well technically when the builder registers the condo) so will I fall under the new rules or am I grandfathered? It is not a big deal though, the payment difference is very minimal.

I’m currently laying here on my bed watching Dawn of the Dead…both pups are snoozing. Bruiser let Goldie lay beside me so that is where he is. Bruiser took his spot at the end of the bed. I cannot wait for Goldie to go home, I am feeling smothered by puppy love, if that is all possible.

I am so glad it is now the weekend. Not that this week was bad, I just want the days off, lol. Things have been going hyper fast lately and in fact 2008 has seen huge changes including losing 15lbs and gaining 15lbs, lol. Uggh - let’s hope that I can relose those 15lbs by the end of 2008.

Did I tell you my beta fish Bill tried to commit suicide on Saturday? I didn’t see him jump out of his bowl but Bruiser ran over to the lamp shelf and started playing with something. Luckily I was paying attention and found Bill covered in carpet fibers and no bite marks, lol. I ran him over to the faucet and tried to quickly clean him off and then threw him a fresh cup of water while he recuperated, or so I was hoping. It took him a few hours but he is fine. Only me…

Today I happened upon a story while looking up something regarding gifts and CRA. I ended up on a news story about a woman in the US who won through a charity raffle a pair of gold cufflinks and a matching ring. The noted value of the prize was $5,600, later though she found out that they were only worth $350 if she were to resell them. But this is what caught my attention: the US government doesn’t care about their true value - they want to tax her on the value the donor said they were worth and therefore the charity wanted to collect $1,400 in federal taxes and $280 in state taxes before giving her the jewelry. What a bunch of bunk!

Anywho - I’m going to go make dinner and call it a night and laze on the couch. I do believe I have So You Think You Can Dance recorded and ready to watch :) Later taters!

I was trying to find out why my internet was down when I got home today. Seems someone’s dog, either mine or my father’s decided to play with the CAT5e cable underneathe my desk and bit through it. Little bugger. Lucky I had another around that I had bought in order to get my brother on a router at my Dad’s though we never did it. I tied up all my cords tonight - I’m trying to save money not spend it! Lil’ buggers!

I don’t know about you, but I am hearing more and more about how great antioxidants are for us and our bodies. And as well hearing a lot about goji berries. Has anyone tried these? Are they easily accessible? Actually doing a look on the internet and the goji berry is also know as the Chinese wolfberry, goji berry, barbary matrimony vine, bocksdorn, Duke of Argyll’s tea tree, or matrimony vine, wow!

They have been ORAC Tested and they have been found to be exceedingly high in antioxidants and have been used in traditional Chinese medicine for over 1900 years. They are widely popular in Asia and just starting to be know here in North America.

As we all know antioxidant benefits to our bodies is great. They help stabilize free radicals and health problems such as heart disease, macular degeneration, diabetes, cancer etc are all contributed by oxidative damage caused by them.

Kinda cool…I am going to check them out, how about you? Or do you already eat these little guys?

I feel pretty good today. Not so sad but resigned in that it was a good decision and no matter what if I need him (he’s a great ear and can debate well) he will be there. He wants me to start dating, but for now I want to work on the extra 15lbs I have put on since February. I wore an outfit to a club with Jeff and back in February that made me feel sexy (mini schoolgirl skirt, tight-low cut top and ’slut’ boots - which if anyone knows me is not my usual attire and was a nice change) and I just want to get back to that size where I don’t having a shirt fit me everywhere. Right now, the looser the better.

Since there is no magical diet pill, back to the gym I go. I am not sure about Monday though as I need to take my Dad’s dog back to him. I am sure Bruiser will be lonely as he is enjoying the company.

I will be sending the BowFlex back on Saturday hopefully. The reason why I still have it is pure laziness in lugging it all the way back to the car. It is like 11 boxes and some are really heavy, lol. I was thinking of bringing it into work and using FedEx and just getting billed here at work - but then that means lugging it up to the third floor here at work…not sure about that!

Ah well - I will figure it out. Have a great Friday…currently raining here and a bit cool.

I had baseball tonight, a double header. I was pretty impressed with my game playing; hitting and catching! We won both our games, we are doing really well this year. We keep stats (the league doesn’t, we do, lol) and I am currently the Queen of Walks. Seriously folks, I am super duper patient when I’m up at bat and I have walked 11 times in 6 games. I wonder if we should do up some trophies - I think it would be a hoot to have one that says ‘Queen of Walks, 2008′. It can go along with my bowling trophy I got in 1988, ‘Skunk Award’; I had the lowest score ever in a game and get this…managed to be on the team that won the season go figure :P

Jeff emailed me back tonight and said he was going to try and end it this weekend but wanted to do it in person not via phone. He said he wanted me to find someone to love who would love me in return. The more I reflect upon my decision the more my unhappiness goes away. I know he will be there for me no matter what, we have a great connection, we just aren’t meant to be together.

Well I have a headache…yes still - going to play a few Word Twist games on Facebook and call it a night :)

I had a really bad sinus headache yesterday and ended up staying home from work. Once the sinus headache went away though then it became a really bad headache. I ate Advil like candy and am paying for it today as my stomach is quite upset.

Last night Jeff called and left a message cancelling our ‘date’ on Saturday as he had forgotten he had already plans. Jeff finally moved back home on Thursday and I was super excited that instead of getting to spend 2-3 hours with him, he was mine for the night. When I heard the message I had tears spring to my eyes and I knew that what I had been thinking for about two weeks now needed to be done; I needed to let him go. I called him back and told him. I think I surprised him and he was a bit upset (could hear it in his voice) but he said maybe it was for the best since in the last four months since his daughter’s bought with ARDS I had seen him maybe 4 or 5 times and so it would be easier this way to step back.

I told him that I felt that he could have cancelled on the house party on Saturday and just had dinner with me and he didn’t like that. Jeff is one that if he makes plans he sticks with them so I knew that wouldn’t fly - but considering that more than likely the house party is someone from work and he sees them everyday and then here is me, someone he hasn’t see in over a month now. I told him I had to get off the phone before I started crying and he agreed. I got off the phone and cried myself to sleep.

I just finished writing him an email on facebook. It started as a “let’s do dinner on Sunday” to a “please help me stay away” email. I love this man and always have. He was my first love and we dated for 5 years. I just gave him another year of my life with nothing in return but friendship, though he promises nothing, I know I would give him more years and in the end, I would still have nothing.

He’s a great friend and he will remain that. Hopefully he will help me remain strong and that is all we will be from this day forward. The last four months have been helpful in a way. They have helped me to grow and depend on myself again and put myself aside and just be there for him when he was distraught over his daughter. But now I need to use the absence as a way to move on…to not let things start up again, to move on.

I know I did come to the realization in the last month that if I do not find someone for me, I am okay with that. I don’t mind being alone in my apartment with my dog. Sometimes it is lonely, but it is still doable, and okay with me.

Today I released my condo down payment to the seller as they finally received my mortgage approval from my broker. I was hoping that they would put the standard “sold out” red banner up on my floor plan but the sub-penthouse 4, hasn’t yet sold…so no go. I was going to take photos of the model suite to show you guys but I didn’t have my camera and my cell phone was dead. I will go back over (I’m sure my rep will laugh at me) to take photos to tide me over for 2 years, lol and I promised some facebook peeps who live in another province who bought in the condo to take photos of the building as it progresses.

The official ground breaking is July 17th and if I can get someone else to come and buy that night…I will get $4K in upgrades…and them too! Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

I was talking to a coworker today about their condo (they moved in last year) and she showed me her floor plan and what she did (moving walls, etc) and she talked about crown moulding of which I didn’t even think of but it would look fantastic in my place. But not at the builder’s prices. I have a father for that who charges only a dinner for labour :) My condo will have 10ft ceilings so crown moulding would be lovely.

I am currently laying in bed with two sleeping dogs. This is the second night in a row that they have fell asleep this early, I can just imagine what their day was like for it to do this to them, lol.

I was talking to a friend about my need to make/save money and he noted I should talk to a futures broker. Um…no, sorry I am definitely not into high risk investments. Working in a CA firm, I saw a few people lose hundreds of thousand of dollars, hoping with each deal they would make that big return.

I promise that next week this blog will go back to being a weight loss blog - all condo talk will move to In A Mood!

Today was one of those days. It just felt off in more ways than one. One of the offs was having to deal with two dogs this morning and not just one. Having to ensure that both dogs eat and stop Bruiser from eating both plates of food, lol.

Last night I slept with one dog at my feet (Goldie) and one who’s body length was pressed up against mine (Bruiser). It was hard to move and I felt like I was being mauled, lol.

When I came home I had two extremely excited dogs to deal with and both needed my attention and affection and I just wanted to get out of my clothes and take a nap but that wasn’t to happen. I feel like I have kids, lol.

It’s not even 9pm and I’m already thinking of crawling into bed. I want chocolate! Now I will take my leave and watch my plasma tv…oops, that would be an LCD :P

Please bear with me as I work with my host to fix a few plugins that became disabled after a move in order to help with site security.

In other news…forgot my gym bag and I’m feeling claustrophobic…2 dogs following me around in the morning! Eek!

Tomorrow gym! That is 100% what will happen because I am tired of feeling sluggish! I have been lazing on the couch all day and since Goldie has joined us…telling Bruiser ‘no’ or ‘calm down’, lol.

I haven’t put together my budget but did just transfer my first $500 to my savings account which is HUGE for me. On Thursday $150 will go there directly from my pay check and I will be transferring $400US from my paypal account and voila, $1,050 to be used for the $12,600 due on the 1st of August for my 5% down on the condo.

My mac has been shutting itself down about once every two hours and I’m wondering if the ram has come loose which was the issue before when it did the same. I will have to have my work IT guy look at it as it is a bit annoying, especially when one is in the middle of sudoku or word twist on Facebook, lol.

I was up pretty early this morning cleaning as I knew my Dad was coming with Goldie (he’s off to the Dominican) so I’m thinking an early bedtime tonight. Hopefully the dogs will behave.

Question for those that have suggested craigslist for the Bowflex…how do I not get screwed? I’m going to call up Canada Post tomorrow and see what the cost is weight wise for returning the Bowflex. But if I can break even rather than paying for shipping and losing that cost, that would be great. Help please!

Today was a nice lazy day. I got up, then napped and then got up again and headed over to the sales office of my condo to have my purchase agreement amended. They agreed to all things but capped one of the ‘extra costs’ a bit higher than my lawyer suggested but basically were sold. My broker will call my rep to find out what she needs from the bank regarding mortgage approval and then I give them my post dated, 5% down payment cheque.

I just finished doing a bit of cleaning - Dad is coming over tomorrow with his dog as I’m dogsitting for the week while he is on vacation. It shall be interesting having two dogs around and figuring out how to walk them both.

Monday hopefully brings me back to the gym. I got to do something and I know that - I’m not willing to just walk away from me and my outsides. I am slowly working on my insides (no I didn’t buy a colon cleanser, lol) and I do have to say that the happy pills have really made a difference in me and how I deal with my inner thoughts.

Tomorrow the plan is to put together a very aggressive budget in order to pay off my line of credit (used for my down payment) and get some money put aside for upgrades - hopefully they don’t as for that soon. I do know I have an additional $900 + GST to come up with for Aug/Sep - the changing of the ‘ensuite’ (well they call it that) door to be actually ensuite.

Anywho…going to go play some games on Facebook - addicted to not just sudoku now, but pathwords and word twist…eek!

I had a dream last night that I my car was stolen and when it was found it was in disrepair. I was freaked out about two things: the car was stolen and that my work laptop was in there. When the car was found, the laptop was still in there - they just killed the car.

I was so upset because of the new condo I wanted to purchase and the plan to use the $500 car payment which ends in September as one of the many ways I had planned to pay off the down payment I have to make on it. I was so upset that my condo wasn’t going to be able to get the upgrades I wanted it to have and that I also would be declined in 2010 for the actual mortgage because of the extra debt I had to replace the car.

It was awful and when I awoke to realize it was just a dream I was a happy camper. I normally don’t remember my dreams…so I can see that the mortgage approval was bugging me. This weekend…a tight budget will be made up. I do not plan to have a penthouse suite that is just ’standard’ build folks! I want upgrades, the more upgrades the better my investment. I’m already counting on the condo being worth more when I move in than when I signed for it on Wednesday. Not that I plan on selling, I plan on living there - but it will be nice to have some equity in something once again :)

Now to get rid of the BowFlex…without losing too much money.

I got my mortgage approval today :) I don’t yet ‘own’ as I am still in my rescission period (10 days) but I will be going in on the weekend to go over the purchase agreement as there are few things in there my lawyer wants amended/capped. But barring that they disallow my proposed change, I own!

June 18, 2010 is my closing date, how exciting!

Sorry for the radio silence…I’m still waiting on my mortgage pre-approval and that is all I can think about right now. Sounds like a lame excuse but seriously that is all I’m doing. I also seriously need to set up a very tight budget. Even considering getting a part time job to help me out for a a bit. Not that I ‘need’ the extra money but I really, really want upgrades and having just put a chunk of change on my line of credit for my downpayment…now I need to pay that off prior to the upgrades.

I’m not second guessing myself…just really have my brain elsewhere rather than my health.

I’m even thinking of returning the Bowflex, it is $1,400 I could use - but I’m wondering at the courier charge of getting back to Nautilus.

…barring any financing issues! Occupancy date is June 2010 - uggh, but yay (re: owning again).

Sorry for the lack of updates - life has been interesting…looks like this week or early next I sign my life away for my second home…you can read more about it here. I did weigh in on Friday, 168.8lbs - and I had a good food week though no workouts! This weekend was a different story though.

The BowFlex did not get put together…I ended up buying new bedroom furniture (IKEA - Malm series, had my eye on it for a good 4 months now) and spent the weekend putting it together as well as doing 5 loads of laundry. Bruiser’s happy - he can get on the bed, lol. My old bedroom set (just consisted of a bed and nightstand) is going to a coworker’s friend who is having marriage problems and is looking to move out on her own. That makes me feel good. I know have a bed, two night tables and matching dresser, I like :)

Back to the gym and watching what I eat on Wednesday…I am feeling rather plump.

I didn’t end up going to baseball tonight. I was yawning at 2pm until end of the work day so I opted to go home and get some sleep before my 845pm doctor appointment. I got up at 8pm and headed into Hamilton and got there right at 845pm where I was the last patient of the day and there was one other in the waiting room.

I went to get a refill on my happy pill (Celexa) as I do feel they make a huge difference and even Jeff says I am a lot more balanced. I got out of there at 945pm…the two patients before me took a long time. My appointment…5 minutes.

Tonight after work I went directly to the sales office of Absolute Condos and found myself quite disappointed. First off their instructions on where the sales office was was #3006…yet there was no 30 button in the elevator…I had to clue in and press LPH (Lower Pent House). So I get there, they have taken residence in one of the pent house suites and the person who greeted has me fill out a guest registration form and then handed me a package. I asked to see the model suite and was told there were none. Um…okay. You expect me to buy into your building but cannot show me a unit completed and with standard or upgraded options? Not bloody likely.

Besides I didn’t like the hallways at all, they felt claustrophobic and the carpet on the floor looked pieced together, not well laid…if that is what you have to offer, I am not interested. Besides…they only have 2 bedroom + units available and the 2br is only 765sft - I can buy into Onyx and get a 1+Den unit for almost 700sqf.

So yeah…Absolute is a no go, especially when they cannot make an effort (like model suite to view). I guess once I do buy again, I really should look into some term life insurance…my mortgage will be over 3, almost 4 times of my last one. I would rather have it paid off if I passed on and given to a family member than it fall back into the hands of the bank.

Other than that, today was once again a good day beside being tired…but I think that had something to do with the fact that I was up until 2am playing Sudoku on facebook - I am SO addicted.

Well, I got the cleaning done…and the BowFlex boxes moved to the bedroom for assembly on the weekend. Laundry is sorted for washing, which will have to be Friday. Tomorrow I have baseball at 630pm and a doc appointment at 845pm to get my happy pills refilled.

Friday I go to see my mortgage broker at 3pm…I will keep you updated with that meeting :)

Oh yes…food today good, water sucky. No exercise but I’m okay with none this week…next week though is another story :)